On Pinoy Gender Issues PART 3 : The Working Mom

Women's Double/Multiple Burden
A situation referring to the heavy workload of women and the many, overlapping tasks involved, which if computed in terms of hours would total more than 24 hours. This workload consists of unpaid reproductive work, paid productive work, community management, and all other work necessary for the survival of the family

Woman's traditional role, especially if she is a wife and mother, is to stay home, manage the household and take care of the family. However, because of economic realities, more and more women have joined the labor force. Yet, even as they spend essentially the same working hours as the men outside the home, housework and child care are still primarily women's concern. As a result, women carry a double burden in terms of longer hours and a wider scope of responsibility.

They are also expected to participate in sociocultural activities such as in church and civic organizations, and other community involvement. Women's work in the home, in the labor force and in the community is a multiple burden that is not experienced by men. (from : http://www.ncrfw.gov.ph/inside_pages/gender_mainstreaming/gender_101.html)

Have you ever experienced being friends with a working Mom?

Well...I have. Having the chance to work with someone who has more experience in life was a good opportunity for me to learn more about the different gender issues. Being a working mother is not a joke. I had a friend in highschool (not from my school), and she was a teacher. A teacher who was in her early 30's and has 3 children, and a stay home husband. Being a teacher is pretty hard since most teachers in highschools only get paid with a minimum to a little above minimum salary. Technically, she was the breadwinner. Imagine, she was working as a teacher, supporting three children, one in college, the other in higschool, and the youngest in pre-school.

I really felt bad for her because she experienced a lot of discriminations at work. People judged her as someone incapable of providing well for her family because there were times when she did not have enough time to spend with her kids. Since she was a family friend, my parents and I decided to help her family financially because we were so worried about her youngest child. I can still remember, she would always tell me that from the very beginning (first day of work) her co-teachers has been giving her the "kaya mo ba" look. They kept asking about her family and it made her feel so uncomfortable to work with them. Most of her co-teachers were young and single, or happily married.

Fast forward....

After a few years of having no contact, we just learned that the school where she was working decided to let her go, and their reason was that she was not performing well because she had too much responsibilities at home. No word from her since that. I felt so sad because I know that she's a very hardworking person.

I find it very unfair that organizations judge people immediately based on their family background and gender. In some cases, the men are the ones whose problems are same with my friend's but people do not judge them. If the husband was the only one providing for the family, and given the fact that he does not have enough time for his family, people would understand --- "kasi lalake eh, dapat talaga mag trabaho, kaya nga yung babae ang taga alaga ng mga anak". Generally, men are seen as more responsible and capable in terms of providing for the family. Sometimes, others get so amazed whenever they see a single mom and realize that she was the only one who raised her kids. ---"wow grabe tatag naman niyang babae na yan..parang hindi ko kaya yan..." All these gender issues are definitely here to stay, unless someone who can use his/her influence is courageous enough to change everything for the better and tolerate every ridicule and criticism.

That's why I always tell my friends who experience gender discrimination at work to ignore the bad things they hear. I tell them that if they pay attention to the discriminative comments they hear from their co-workers, they will not succeed, because success comes from inner strength and commitment. I also tell them to think about this statement -- "you exist, i exist, lets just co-exist. So lets just mind our own beezwax".

One of my favorite principles : Never let your gender dictate what you can and can't do.